At some point in our lives, each of us give up. For whatever reason, we just decide that we can’t keep doing what we’ve been doing, and have to just give up. I’ve reached that point. Now, before you start freaking out and thinking I’m going to jump in front of a taxi or something, hear me out. When I say that I give up, I don’t mean that I’m over life. Quite the opposite, in fact. Let me explain..
For a long time I’ve tried to put myself first. I’ve tried to set my own needs, wants and desires as the most important thing in life. I’ve realized, though, that that’s not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s been a long, hard road getting here, but now.. I’ve finally reached the point where I give up.
See, I’ve been fighting God. For a long time I’ve fought God. I’ve resisted every single thing that I knew was right, simply because I didn’t want to admit wrongdoing. I didn’t want to give in to Him and lose my own self. I didn’t want to turn over the reigns to someone else, especially someone who I knew would demand things that I wasn’t willing to do. Couldn’t do. But eventually, over time, God slowly worked on me, I guess. He started molding me, turning me into something completely different.. preparing me. For what, I didn’t know. All I knew what that I was changing. Things that I once enjoyed didn’t hold as much meaning to me anymore. I didn’t really see it all happening at the time, but I can look back now and see all of the subtle little changes. Eventually I reached the point where I’d changed so much, things had changed so much, that I didn’t have a choice but to sit up and pay attention.
So.. I give up. God, I give up. I wave the white flag. I give up self. I give up all of those little things that goes against your will. I surrender all. I’m yours, God. Take me, mold me into the man you want me to be. I accept your will.
I may not always understand, but I accept.
I may not always want to follow, but I will.
I may resist, but I will overcome.
When I don’t understand, give me wisdom and discernment.
When I get angry about things you want me to do, give me peace.
When I feel like the world around me is spinning out of control, balance me and show me the path through.
I give up, Lord. You win. I’ll no longer deny you. I’ll no longer fight against you and your will. I’ll no longer pretend that I can do things on my own. Because, God, I’ve seen you at work, and I know your goodness and love. I can no longer ignore you. So.. I give up.
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